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Imagine if you could get a colonic without an appointment, without paying $90, and without having to stick something up your bum. Look no further! I introduce you to The Detox Dudes Salt-Water Flush.
Warning: Make sure you have two hours devoted to toilet-time after starting the flush. Do not do while visiting someone else’s home, if you have any house guests that you are trying to impress, or if in the early stages of a new relationship. The rancid odors can be traumatizing and may ruin your reputation with others, especially if this is your first salt-flush.
A salt-water flush is an ancient yogic healing modality that does an incredible job at flushing the small and large intestines, balancing electrolytes, remineralizing the body, and restarting digestion. In my opinion, it is one of the best ways of re-booting your system when you are in a funk, or cleansing your energetic body when feeling heavy.
What you’ll need:
2 glass jars or glass bottles (24-32oz)
1.5-2.5 heaping tbsp of sea salt (Icelandic or Celtic is best)
Natural spring, filtered, or distilled water
Apple Cider Vinegar and/or lemon juice
How to do it:
In the morning on an empty stomach, put 1.5-2.5 heaping tablespoons of sea salt in one glass jar/bottle. I like using sea salt vs. pink himalayan salt because the ocean contains very similar mineral ratios to that of our blood plasma. Furthermore, many of the himalayan pinks salts are not truly from the Himalayas and are not sustainably sourced. If this is your first flush start on the lower dose and work your way higher. If no flush is achieved, then you know you need more salt next time.
Then you’ll put in 2tbsp of apple cider vinegar, followed by 4oz of boiling water. Mix with a spoon (please not plastic) until the salt has dissolved. Then follow with 16-20oz of distilled, spring, or filtered water. Mix well and you’ll want the brine solution to be warm, but not hot.
Fill up the other jar/bottle with 32oz of clean water. Now, slowly, over the course of 20-30 minutes you will take a few sips from the brine solution and a few sips from your freshwater. Keep doing so until you finish both bottles. If you drink the solution too quickly, you will vomit. And it’s a very unpleasant projectile type vomiting, and it hurts. It will also hurt your ego and make you feel stupid.
After you finish both bottles, you may go somewhere to rest. You can lay down, or just sit in a comfortable chair/couch and do your best to relax. Within 20 minutes to one hour, you will experience some gurgle guts followed by projectile hershey squirts. Anywhere between 3-10 bowel movements in the next couple hours is totally normal. For most people who have never done this, the bowel movements will be dark black, have a rancid odor, and sludgy. Because most people’s small intestines have never been cleansed or flushed (colonics and enemas can’t make it up that far), the odors can be really intense. Like I said, you do not want to be dealing with house-guests during this adventure. Also, if you don’t clean the toilet properly when finished, the next person who uses the bathroom is going to think that you have been violently ill with malaria for the past few days. But do yourself a favor and don’t clean the toilet until bowel movement #3 or #4, otherwise you are just wasting your time.
Also, extreme thirst after the flush is also normal, and I suggest having at least another 32 oz of water available to you after you finish the initial two bottles of liquid.
Don’t eat solid food for about an hour after the flush, and make sure to take probiotics later that day. Too many salt-flushes can really mess your flora up, which is why I suggest 3-4 per month maximum for most people.
This is excellent for constipation, digestive issues, chronic fatigue, depression, and anxiety!! And just overall somber moods.
Funkbuster recipe: Salt-water flush followed by cold-water shower is an amazing way to get yourself out of even the toughest funks. Stay tuned for a video on cold-water shower, but yeah it’s pretty self-explanatory. Take a cold shower! 🙂
Happy pooping everybody!
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